If this sounds familiar, here’s a ready-made email

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Hello

I received a letter and voucher ‘wooing’ me back to [Insert company name]. Decided to have a go and the following happened:

1. Tried to key in voucher code when section came up in checkout procedure but was told I needed to book a delivery time first
2. Dutifully continued, booked delivery time and proceeded smoothly to checkout and payment but at no point was I offered another chance to key in my voucher for 10% off
3. Called the helpline number on the voucher – 0845 xxx xxx but not a recognised number
4. Looked on website to find that the number has been incorrectly printed
5. Called the correct number to find that there was a waiting time of 20 minutes . . . longer than it took me to do my shop!
6. Went red in the face and decided to send stroppy email

Please can you address this for me.

My order number is [Insert order no.]
My voucher code is [Insert voucher code]

Not feeling very wooed.

[Insert your name here]

PS When I used [Insert company name] previously I never had any real problems. I only stopped because of a change of lifestyle not because I’d encountered any real difficulties. It seems ironic that now I am trying it again because it’s convienient and have had a million and one mailings with vouchers and ‘loving’ postcards about wanting me back, have we done anything wrong? etc. (quite a cute marketing campaign but totally lost it’s appeal by the end of this experience) I end up feeling let down and frustrated – probably all the more so because of all the promises and gush . . . Sort it out!

Sent by a very good friend of mine to Ocado.

The funny thing is the actual online shopping part was pretty painless, but unfortunately for Ocado the overall experience was negative and has put a big dent in their carefully crafted brand.

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